Go Go Balamb Rangers!
by Eccentric Inferno
Summary: The cast of FFVIII as Power Rangers. Read or forever regret not having stomach pains from laughter!


"Ahh, after ten thousand years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" A deep female voice boomed through the vast lands of Balamb. She forced her staff into the ground as she emitted another hysterical laugh.

"Xu, recruit a team of six teenagers with attitude!" yelled Cid from another plane as he sensed evil seeping through the country.

"Aye ye ye!" Xu replied as she tampered with the buttons on the computer screen.

Five seconds later, a group of six teenagers stood before Cid in the basement of Balamb Garden."

"Whoa? Where are we?" Rinoa was the first one to speak up.

"I dunno, but this is pretty damn awesome," said Zell as he took another bite of his hotdog!

"Rangers! Edea has escaped. You must protect Balamb by morphing into Power Rangers!" Cid informed the group.

"WHOA? POWER RANGERS?" Zell dropped his hotdog and gave a "whoop" through the air.

Xu walked to each individuals and handed them a morpher. "You will use them to activate your powers."

"Hotness yo! I'm red! I'm yo leader!" Zell gave another whooping as he clasped the morpher on to his wrist.

"Whatever..." muttered Squall as he equipped his black morpher. Even when the world was on the brink of destruction, he remained stoic.

"Blue! Awesome!" squealed Rinoa.

"GAHH! I hate pink!" yelled Quistis.

"Ahahah, yellow like a lil Chocobo!" Selphie gave a whoop as well.

"Damn, why am I brown? Is there even a brown ranger?" Irvine looked at his morpher funnily. He did not appear amused.

"Well you see, we kinda scraped together the leftovers and made a morpher for you Irvine," Xu said quickly.

"You brown cuz you uglay like shit!" laughed Selphie.

"This is awesome guys!" Zell positioned himself in front of the others, assuming the role of the leader. Rinoa and Selphie stood on either side of him while Squall and Quistis gathered behind them.

Irvine looked around. He was totally out of formation seeing that he had no where to stand to make the 'pose' appear formal. "Hey! Where do I stand? Maybe over here..." he walked next to Selphie but she kicked him away.

"YO! You messing up the formation!"

(Diagram as follow) :  
Squall Quistis  
Selphie Rinoa  
Zell

"Crap, then where do I go?" wailed Irvine.

"Quit whining like a baby! You're a damn power ranger!" reprimanded Zell. "You ready guys?"

"Ready!" yelled Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie.

"Whatever," replied Squall.

"Wait, I need a bosition!" cried Irvine.

"It's MORPHING TIME!" commanded Zell, not caring about Irvine's predicament.

Red Morphing Sequence:

"Red ranger power!"

Zell closed his eyes, letting the power envelope his body. He could feel a newfound energy surging through his arms and legs as a red uniform wrapped tightly around his muscular figure, highlighting all the muscles that developed from years of training. When he absorbed all the power into his system, the final transformation took place. A thick, formidable helmet covered his head.

Yellow Morphing Sequence:

"Yellow ranger power! Tee hee!"

Selphie was so excited. After years of training to become a power ranger, her dream was coming true as she found herself being adorned in a yellow power rangers uniform.

Blue Morphing Sequence:

"Blue ranger power!"

Rinoa smiled to herself as she tried to relax. Although she was new, she had intensive training and was very well skilled in battles. A relief washed over her when she spotted herself in a solid blue power rangers uniform.

Pink Morphing Sequence

"Pink ranger power!"

_I HATE PINK _Quistis thought to herself.

Black Morphing Sequence

"Whatever..."

Squall just quickly closed his eyes as all the power soared into his body. He could care less if the world fell apart right now.

Brown Morphing Seq-

"Brown ranger power!"

BZZZ ZZZZZ ZAP BAM WAH!

There was something terribly wrong. Irvine felt himself shifting, but the transformation never fully took place.

"It appears there's something wrong with your morpher," examined Xu.

"No shit..." Irvine replied as he only morphed into half a ranger. The zippers were falling off his uniform and the front plate of his helmet was missing, exposing his eyes and most of his face.

"May the power be with you rangers...and uh...half a ranger..." said Cid as he warped them out of Garden.

----

"Whoa, check out my amazing power!" admired Zell. He flexed his arms and legs, pulling out his red sword that was held in his belt. "All right!"

"I'm liking it!" cheered Selphie. "Hi-ya!" She strike a cute, but deadly pose, ready for combat.

"Heh, looking good Selphie! Let's go!" ordered Zell!

"Whatever..." Squall answered as he dashed forward with the other rangers.

"GUYS! Wait for me! My boots are falling off!" cried Irvine. "Waiiittt!" he desperately tried to hop into the action.

Lord Seifer appeared before Edea, guarding her with his gunblade. "Look, it's CHICKEN WUSS!" he roared. "Ready to die?"

"HIYA! I don' think so! Let's go guys!"

"HIYA!" screamed Selphie and Rinoa as they jumped into the air, pulling out nunchaku and pinwheel respectively, striking the enemy with it. Quistis and Squall followed suit next with a whip and gunblade. Zell was next in action. He extended a fist and the punch was strong enough to send Seifer flying into the sorceress.

"Wait for me!" called Irvine. He was still running and apparently, he tripped over a rock. "OWWWWWWWWWW!" He hastily tried to pull out his gun from his holster, loading the ammo. "Take THIS SEIFER! He held the gun the wrong way and ended up shooting himself with blood pouring out of his nose. "AHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHH! I think it's time we ask for assistance! Galbadian soldiers! Arise!" Seifer fled the scene as a flock of Galbadian soldiers emerged from the ground.

"Alright guys. Looks like we got company, let's get 'em!" charged Zell.

"Whatever..." Squall leaped into the air and fired a few rounds from his gunblade.

"UGH! Damn, I'm surrounded!" Selphie screamed for any assistance available. Her nunchaku were knocked out of her hands from an opposing punch.

"I'll save you Selphie!" Irvine tried rushing to her with blood still oozing from his nose. "Don't you worry! I'm HERE!" He started picking up the speed by running, but all the commotion going on around him caused a storm of dust to spiral around him, blinding him as they entered his eyes without his helmet to shield the particles. "AHHH! MY EYES, MY EYES!"

"Selphie, I got you!" Zell came crashing down from the heavens and with a mighty kick, he caused all the soldiers to collapse before him. "HIYA!" He helped the yellow ranger up like a true gentlemen.

"Tee hee! Thanks Zellie!" she said sincerely. "Back in action! Watch out ya'll! Selphie coming through!"

The battle was finally taking a toll on the enemy as they were relinquished one by one.

"I think it's time for some more action!" Edea gritted her teeth as anger filled her body. "Seifer, grow!" She directed her staff at the Knight as he slowly towered above all the buildings of Balamb, reaching higher than any mountain in sight.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Seifer laughed as he placed a foot back on the earth, causing the ground to rumble.

"LOOK OUT!" warned Zell as all the rangers dodged the blow. The intensity of the impact caused Irvine's bladder to expand.

"Crap, I need to pee!" Irvine hopped around, trying to ease the tension in his bladder.

"I think it's about time we called for our Guardian Zords!" Zell advised. "HIYA! I summon Ifrit, NOW!"

"I need Leviathan!" Rinoa yelled.

"I need Quezacotl!" Selphie chirped.

"I need Siren!" Quistis commanded.

"I need Diablo!' Squall summoned.

Everyone looked at Squall with shock.

"What?" he countered.

"Well, we were expecting you to say-" Zell started.

"Whatever," Squall finished.

"And I need---hey!" exclaimed Irvine. "Where's my Guardian Zord?" He angrily hopped on Squall's back and soared with him.

"Let's go team!" Zell lead the way as he leaped thousands of feet up into the air. He landed on Ifrit's back as the others landed on their Guardian's back as well. Slowly, the GFs came together and formed the MIGHTY GUARDIAN ZORD.

"Whoa! This is rockin'!" Rinoa couldn't help but take in the beauty of their fighting zord as all the GFs pulled together to form one megazord. The rangers soon found themselves in the main core of the zord, with high-tech computers in front of them. Each of them grabbed a seat and immediately powered up the GF.

"Hey! Where's my seat?" Irvine whined again as he watched his fellow members each hop into one.

He tried to share a seat with Selphie but Quezacotl made a huge fuss, providing room only for his summoner-Selphie Tilmitt.

Diagram:

Squall Selphie Rinoa Quistis  
Zell

"Sorry Irvine, looks like you gotta go! tee hee!" Selphie said as she started programming her GF.

"Go where?"

"DOWN BELOW!" QUEZACOTL yelled as the fierce bird knocked him out of the control room.

"OK Seifer! It's over!" Zell slammed some buttons in front of him as the Guardian Zord drew out it's mighty blade. "Ready all?"

"Ready!"

"Whatever." They simultaneously answered.

"FIRE STORM BLADE, GO!" A huge inferno sword burst from the Zord's grip as it cleanly sliced Seifer in half, causing the 'mega growth spurt' spell to break. Moments later, Seifer was back on the ground, weakened and defeated.

"All right! Nice work!" Zell cheered as he slapped everyone a high five.

"Woo hoo! We on a roll!" Selphie whooped.

-----

"Rangers, that was excellent work!" Cid congratulated each of them back at the command center.

"Oh, we couldn't have done it without Zell," Selphie commented with love in her eyes.

"Whatever," Squall said under his breath.

"All for one and one for all!" Zell placed his hand in the middle of the ring that he and his friends formed. All the other hands stacked upon his, and even Squall did too...although he did it reluctantly. "1...2...3...POWER RANGERS!" they all cried out and whooped into the air, except for Squall who whispered, "Whatever."

Two seconds later, Irvine was warped into the command center too with blood still oozing from his nose. He held on to his bladder and hopped around. "Power down!" he stated calmly. To his anger, nothing happened. "AHHH! He ripped the zipper of his uniform apart and jumped out of it. "I HATE BEING THE BROWN RANGER. WHY AM I IT?"

"Cuz you UGLAY!" the rangers all said in unison.

THE END. 

GO GO POWE RANGERS! PR FOREVER!


End file.
